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utorak, 23. ožujka 2010.

Hmmmm? Yea or Nay To Vulva Perfume ?

This one I guess I would classify under...maybe not sure? Sounds sort of gimmicky, but who knows? Maybe they're onto something. I mean, I would be curious to see what kind of effect this cologne would have on me. You know how the human body works, body language, facial expressions, there's all kinds of chemical reactions and  fluids moving around in our bodies, and molecules constantly changing depending on the mood or situation. I've read in some places that the human body does produce a sort of "home made perfume" , so to speak. It's very evident in the animal kingdom, especially come mating season. So I guess this isn't such a far fetched idea afterall. (Besides, I've taken a whiff of some very expensive parfooms in the past, that for some reason actually had the opposite effect and turned me off. Totally putrid.)

Now, I have a hunch this will most likely be focused mainly on the European market in the beginning, the main reason being, (and this is from experience) in Wal-Martland, all that is needed in many cases is a goofy look on your face, and maybe a couple of one-liners memorized from some sitcom to find Mrs Right. They could probably distribute Vulva in North America, but they would definitely have to change the name, and have the scent be more similar to a hamburger/gravy burp or some caffeinated/adult acoholic beverage. Having the scent reminiscent of one just having handled lots of paper currency, (Canadian Tire money not included of course) is always a very popular scent to try to simulate. For the guys who are regulars at "Hooters", you won't even have a clue what the hell this post is about at all....

Coffee?...Tea?...Vulva? Just a little squirt will last four hours.

In the past I've actually gotten more compliments when I used to wear Jovan Musk Cologne over much more expensive Calvin Klein, Hugo Boss or a slew of others. (Personally my favorites are Alfred Sung, Hugo Boss and Calvin Klein, and Joop for men is not bad either) Also, this perfume campaign is being talked about in quite a few other blogs and forums on the net, and some of them altered the original images. However since this is my blog, I decided though to put the original photos up and stay true to the artistic vision that the photographer had in mind. To do anything less would be uncivilized and uncouth. Besides, (Especially if you are a North American reader, European commercials and adds are quite a departure from what you are used to. You ain't seen nothing yet. Maybe also to upset all the prudish, yet at the same time the conservative bleeding heart wannabees. i.e. The ones who think Jesus was gay and the ones who think he wasn't, the ones that think Mary Magdalen was Jesus' lover and those who don't,  the ones that think the Pope is Satanic and those who don't, the ones who think that Satan actually won and it's actually biblical God who is the enemy because Satan pulled the ol' Phil Cass trick behind a burning bush and other places and to mindblow some people and see how gullible they are, as well as the ones who think that it's a sin to masterbate, eat pork, look at art, drink alcohol, read various books, and those who don't, etc and so on.

Some of the writers and bloggers have put a thumbs down on this cologne right off the bat without even trying it. A few have even wrote that it will never sell in America, too outrageous of a an idea. Aaaah, but they forgot who we are dealing with. Over here is where Ron Popeil and his Ronco kingdom have made a fortune with products like Spray On Hair, Mr and the ever popular Inside The Shell Electric Egg Scrambler. (Put an "As Seen On TV" sticker on it and it will most likely not be on the shelves for very long) There are even thousands out there making pretty good bucks selling, (oops, I mean giving out free for donations)...Prayer Cloths and Miracle Spring Water. (All these commercials were especially frequent on Saturday mornings during the Uncle Tommy Show, btw, I would highly recommend the Prayer FIeece instead though, it's more eco-friendly) Like a store manager told me once a long time ago, wrap up a pile of dog shit in cellophane and put an "on sale" sticker on it,  people will line up for hours to buy one and think they got a good deal.

Anyway, I will let the readers decide for themselves whether this company is onto something or not. The company is located in Germany, the land known for the Volkswagon, Mercedes, Porsche, Beer, Beethoven, Oktoberfest, Bavarian Cream Pies, Schnitzel, KMFDM and Katarina Witt just to name a few, so this might possibly be something worth checking out.



Thong Pong

It's a new perfume that's certainly not to be sniffed at...

Perhaps an image that is in homage to an Ingmar Bergman film? The females in the local Krispy Kreme symbolizing his desire to become at one with and tap into the feminine side of his being, or to transport himself back to his highschool days?

Will Vulva get the consumers juices flowing?

Cosmetics experts in Germany have created a bizarre new scent they claim smells just like a woman's vagina.

Dubbed Vulva, it is being billed as the ultimate turn on for men by sex toy firm Vivaeros, who commissioned the cologne.

Boss Guido Lenssen explained: "When I am with a woman, I want to smell her and not some perfume."

"So we took samples from different women to make an intoxicating mixture of urine, sweat and female excitement," he added.

The Company's Official website:

You can view more of their commercials and videos at:

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