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Monday, 5 November 2012

What You May Need To Know To Get Your Croatian Citizenship

What do I think about this?...Great idea, makes total sense. This news in a way totally vindicates this blog in a way, because instead of deciding to discuss about just sports, food, music etc...I touched upon quite a few of these hypothetical Croatian citizenship questions.

Afterall, if you can't answer some of these questions, you might as well not even bother.  Join some club or maybe go get a Croatian tattoo.  I've bumped into people sometimes, who say that they're this or that ethnic background, I'll ask a couple of questions (just off the top of my head type questions, nothing intruding or complicated) and usually the answer is no.  Sort of like..."Oh...Can you speak the language?...No.  " can understand it probably eh?"...No.  "You ever been there?...No......"Hey...ever tried this food or ever heard of this music artist/group?...No, what or who is that?...."What do you think about *****?.....What's that?......Oh yeah, I mustn't forget, don't dress like a stooge either, people will think you gave up on life and just want to be comfortable at all times now or are a vagrant/bum or mentally ill. (Sirota)

This would be the easy part of the citizenship process anyway.  Basically, from my experience, you're not going to get off on the right foot when visiting there if you're going around saying you're Croatian and you danced in a kolo when you were 15, then don't speak it, understand it, don't know the meaning or history behind some of Croatian's most well known symbols, events, places, people..etc, at least.  Good luck when walking into the store looking for stuff you saw at Walmart or a restaurant wearing your Croatian soccer jersey then ordering from the menu.  (Save that for when the Croatia soccer match is on tv at that bar)  The waitress/waiter will be looking at you thinking "Oh great, another one of those stooges/budale who think I'm going to jump for joy translating for them because I have nothing better to do."   You'll be scratching your noggin wondering "what the hell is "fakat" and "fjakat"? which will get the person more irritated at you. (See vid below for example)

This may come as a surprise, but Croatians have moved on and don't really talk all that much about Suker's goals in '98 these days anymore, or really want to know your "Croatian stories" from your cousins birthday party.  Believe me, leave all your coffee shop stories and /bar "n" grill chit-chat crap at home, you can continue on when you get back, it will still be there waiting for you with open arms.   Knowing about Croatian history and especially knowing the language definitely has it's fringe benefits me.  You're in Croatia now anyway, you're going to listen to their stories.   Any ghetto/mall hijinx crap?...Don't even think about it,  you'll regret it. Walk into a cafe or bar there and act like you're at Tim Hortons or drunk at some shitty local bar on a Friday night, you'll get your teeth kicked in, if you're lucky.  As it should be. If you shoot your mouth off to the wrong guy, you might just all of a sudden "disappear" overnight and never even make it into the newspapers, until months later when some  fisherman finds your head on his hook instead of a large trout that he was hoping for, again, as it should be. (Oh! Look! It's that troublemaker tourist from the bar who disappeared back in June, he has no ears)  You'll also need to know more than to be able to answer a few questions, just a heads up. Proof of Croatian ancestry, marriage, birth and/or death certificates, everything has to be in accordance with the Croatian language version of names, you know, Ivan-John, Matej-Matthew, Josip-Joseph, Marija-Mary, Anastazija-Ana, -vić-vich, -abaš -abash, correct etc.  It's Croatian citizenship, not that shiny coin (sjajna kuna) or whistle (zviždaljka) prize in the gumball machine)  Should the proposed questions be in Croatian? Of course they should be, it just makes sense, otherwise what's the point?  Are you gonna do an English test on Shakespeare answering in Latin, German, Russian? That's just me. I got some really good ones I'd like to see on the questionnaire.  Not very hard ones, just very interesting and good to know.  Probably something about some of the events or people discussed on this blog so far.  Even the soccer club Dinamo Zagreb not that long ago made it mandatory for new foreign players to learn Croatian, even agreeing to pay for their Croatian language classes.  (Link below) ... That's a great idea because that way when asked questions by the press (or even being asked what they want to order from the menu, do they want the special of the day) ...they won't just be standing/sitting there staring at their shoes and scratching their butt, embarrassing themselves and everyone around them.  Being able to say "Davor Suker Gol Croatia! Da! Good! Piva! Pečenka!" in that situation just won't cut it, and will most likely just get you escorted out by the staff and lots of strange looks (Some might even whistle at you as you're leaving, that's Croatian booing like at the football matches)..... Anyway......

Croats of BiH lining up to vote for the Republic of Croatia Parliamentary elections in 2007.  Croats in BiH have been trying for years in the other half of the country from it not being taken over by Bosnijaks


Related: dinamo-zagreb-order-foreign-players-to-learn-croatian

ZAGREB, Nov 3 (Hina) - The ministry of the interior has published a rule-book with the 100-question supplement for the procedure of acquiring Croatian citizenship, and citizenship applicants will be expected to answer correctly at least 10 questions out of 15 questions, which will be randomly picked up from the supplement, to prove their knowledge of Croatia's society, history, culture, customs, arts, literature, sports, economy, tourism and geographic position.

For instance, those who want to become Croatian citizens will be asked questions about what town lies on four rivers, what sport Drazen Petrovic, Toni Kukoc and Dino Radja played, the name of the world-famous Croatian female skier, what Croatia observes on 5 August, where the biggest amphitheatre is in Croatia and when the Mohac Battle was fought.

Some of those 100 questions are about the inventor and researcher, who was born in Smiljan in 1856 (Nikola Tesla), who was the leader of the Croatian peasant revolt of 1573 (Matija Gubec) and applicants may be asked to name Croatian politicians killed in the parliament in Belgrade in 1928, or to name the monument, that is the tablet which is one of the first monuments containing an inscription in the Croatian language, dating from the year 1100, or to name the Catholic Archbishop of Zagreb during WW II (Cardinal Alojzije Stepinac) who was later persecuted by the Communist regime, or who is the author of the first Croatian novel "Planine." ("Mountains") written in 1536 (Petar Zoranic).

They may be asked who was Slava Raskaj, or to name the medieval tournament still held in Sinj every summer, or to name the most popular Croatian food condiment, which is a mixture of spices and various vegetables.

The questionnaire will offer either a few answers to a question with applicants being requested to circle the correct one or they will be requested to fill in the answer.

The rule-boke also regulates the examination of the proficiency of the Croatian language and the Latin alphabet.

The rule-book was published in the Official Gazette on 26 October and is to go into effect eight days later. It was adopted by the interior minister with the approval from the ministers of science, education and culture.

Contrary to preconcieved notions, unlike in Afghanistan and some other places, it's only the official folk groups that are seen walking around in various folk costumes during summer tourist season, not the mayor and all the citizens.

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