Questions, comments or suggestions? email me at: croatianicitystuff@gmail.com
Don't miss out a chance to win in our monthly "Croatianicity" t-shirt draw!
As well as our monthly Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic fridge magnet give away!

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Zagreb To Import 377% More Niggers For 2015 Tourist Season







"Plans to make Zagreb University the first ghetto-University in Europe will sell more hoodies" - Mayor Milan Bandic.






Due to the popularity of Niggers, Wiggers and Fuckos since 2007, the Zagreb Tourist Board has decided raise import levels by up to 377% for the upcoming tourist season. Zagreb Mayor Milan Bandic has decided to take advantage of this niche tourism market to elevate the city's profile to future potential tourists. The recent popularity of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford being internationally acclaimed for his recent media exposure and rise in popularity ratings was the deciding factor.  Also, Zagreb University and a number of other local polytechnic schools have decided to raise the number of foreign fucko and ghetto students for the next scholastic year as well, to bring levels to western shitfuck and fucko standards. "With Ghetto-Jesus, all things are possible" said the mayor. The new city slogan will be "Zagreb - The place to fuck shit up and get high cheap, the new European South East D.C. Waaaazzzuppp!".




Zagreb Mayor Milan Bandic fuckin' some shit up on the slopes in 2009. He has promised to replace Bundekfest with Niggerfest after Zagreb opens up 6 more McDonalds and 10 KFC stores.



Zagreb tourism officials want the city to be a more international shitard fucko friendly city, with more Zagreb hoodies used in social media pose photographs.



Update: There are also proposals to import many more Serbs in the following years, during their time killing Ukrainians in Ukraine they displayed many instances of superlative hoodie-fashion that is surely to be popular.



The new "Zagreb Nigga-Hoodie Dance" is sure to be a hit in the clubs.



The Croatian National Folk Ensemble "LADO" will be incorporating some of them nigger dancin' moves into their repertoire, Zagreb will finally have something to be proud of as the LADO dancers will now be able to blow your head off when you least expect it if you diss their folk costumes.






Mayor Bandic has gotten in touch with Mohawk College in the lakeside cultural capital of Canada, Hamilton, Ontario, and has put forward an initiative to have up to 150 niggers, wiggers, fuckos and stooges to partake of this scholastic initiative. It is hoped that it will put forth the message that Zagreb is the best place to be to get down and fuck shit up, fizzle the foshizzle, swagga tha booty grillz and be a fucko.  (Serbo-Canadians will not be included in this initiative because the same project was attempted in 1991 and it was a totally unproductive initiative, as a number of the students are now going to school at the Hague and have begun eating themselves anyway.




Image from a previous post HERE. The new Croatian President has been quoted as saying "Niggers make the best music, make the best fashions and are the successfulls that Croatia and Europe needs, fuck the Tokyo, Munich, Rome and them Hong Kongs. I want to be the Rob Ford  of Croatia and Europe." She also recommended to the Croatian Parliament that from now on she be officially adressed as "The Best Dam Nigger and President In All Of Croatia" as well as "Patron Saint of pregnant Welfare Moms."






Newly elected Croatian President, and former NATO Assistant Secretary General for Diplomacy, Kolinda Grabar-Kitarovic (above) also stands behind the initiative. "The more niggers, the better" she was recently quoted as saying, "More niggers will mean more hoodies sold, better drugs and a more competitive pimp and bitch industry, which will benefit Croatia and Europe in the long run, as well as attract foreign investors to open up more new dead rapper t-shirt outlets and hot-dog stands."










"We feelz Kroashien, We looks Kroasien, We are Kroashiens, we iz da real muthafuckin Kroejshuisns fool!"





It is hoped that scenes of popular shitard fuckos like Outkast and Big Boi will eventually open up more donut stores and Zagreb hoodie stores in Zagreb, and of course take lots of photos with the Zagreb Homee Mayor.



Nigga Rhymez, a popular musical musician, (aka: Busta Rymes, Grimey Nigga, Slimey Rhymes, Grimey Rhymez etc) is a much needed look around Zagreb school yards at recess, washroom doorways and laundromats. 



P. Money has promised to wear a Zagreb University hoodies for future concerts, which will bring even more prestige to the university.



Wiz Khalifa also proves that hoodies go with any hat and any number of hats actually: www.quickmeme.com



Necklace pendants with Z (for Zagreb) are also being planned to be sold at the Zagreb IKEA.



Lemonjello, Tyraneus, Meshon, Doshon, Deshawn and DeSharvon already made their Zagreb hoodie orders. 






It is particularly hoped that first year will exchange wearing a Mohawk College hoodie for instead a Zagreb based school hoodie to wear for their Facebook, Twitter and other social media site photos. This would give a great boost to Zagreb's new fucko/stooge shitard image and portray the city as a great place to fuck the shit up, pop caps and act like an important something. The Mayor is prepared to for an exchange program by even sending 20 portions of his home made sausages, punjene paprike (which are the rage all over Europe, especially in Greece, Germany and the Czech Republic).. for every future student. Coincidentally, the mayors of Munich, Milan, Geneva, Oslo, Bratislava and other cities have taken an interest in this program, and there is also ongoing discussion about a possible "Thug Mayor Committee" being initiated for a future common Thug-Fucko Mayor/tourism policy.





Images that Zagreb is in dire need of for many more Zagreb University hoodie sales.





The Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper seen in his non-political rags, he has expressed interest in the new Zagreb hoodies and has already placed an order of 20 for the peeps in his crib on the ranch.



Toronto Mayor Rob Ford is completely behind the Zagreb hoody tourism initiative.



Shizzle poop doggy doo thumpin tha chillin poopy doop beats grill'n tha spliff fatty times threadz.



The mayor thinks that downtown Zagreb will be much more attractive to tourists if it looks more like a Walmart, with stooge fuckos in the downtown core cafes, pubs, bakeries, malls, alleyways, museums, libraries, laundromats and especially art galleries to make them more nigger friendly.




The hoodie/student program initiative was decided upon after Sammir, a popular Brazilian scat porn actor,) joined a local soccer team, soon after sales of bananas, peanuts, tight yellow speedos, rubber flip flop sandals and Brazilian scat porn movies rose over 800%. It is believed Zagreb University hoodie sales will likewise increase.






If you would like to join either this tourism project or foreign fucko student program, contact your local school administrator. Your best chance of being a part of the project is if you can stand on one leg in the shower and/or masturbate to an orgasm in under 2 minutes to any Walmart people video. You can also  email your particulars here, remember to include your gangsta name, favorite bitch on television and foshizzle dance move and of course your hoodie size. (All sizes should be in metric) The mayor had these encouraging words for applicants.."Come down to Zagreb muthafucking yo, eat a kremsnita and fuck some shit up, there is no place better to be a nigger or a wigger and fucking them shits up, muthafakin yo." Mayor Banidc plans to be central Europe's first certified 'Thug Mayor' and 'Cap Poppin' Purger Homee-Mayor'.





The brand new "Croatian Summer of 2015" official theme song has already become a hit in Zagreb and many other towns and cities. There is also a Croatian version being made even as I'm writing this with the duet featuring Jelena Rozga and Zlatan Stipišić aka Gibonni. It has already gone platinum in Europe and is rumored to be performed at the BET awards also.






No comments :

Post a Comment

Whether you agree, disagree or have a question...be sure to check back because we will answer or reply to every comment...Mi govorimo Hrvatski također čovječe.

Featured post

And The Croatian City To Be A European Capital of Culture In 2020 Will Be...(Drum Roll).....Rijeka

The coastal city of Rijeka was officially designated to represent Croatia as a European Capital of Culture in Europe for 2020.  T...